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Meanwhile, to keep things fun...

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight".
He didn't seem p*ssed off at all.
Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "Oh shit," Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and f*rted."